I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
