i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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