Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
