Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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