i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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