you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
