I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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