She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
