Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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