I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
