Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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