Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
