just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
