i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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