its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
