nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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