It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize