its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize