you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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