i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we're making bets on your personal life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
