i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
