He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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