I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im part way to drunk.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
