just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
