So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
