No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
