she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
