I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
