If i come over, it means nothing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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