I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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