No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize