He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
