so that wasnt chicken after all
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
