I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
