We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize