pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
