Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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