what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
