I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's always time for handjobs
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
