I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
