i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
