lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
