So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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