sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
