At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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