Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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