I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
