I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
