tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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