I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
