Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
