Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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