I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
