party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize