at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize