Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
