Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize