he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
