I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
