party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hippo gnu deer
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
