Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
